Yes, I have actually named these joints that are slowly but surely driving me insane.
It’s starting to feel like I cannot catch a break. I’ll go days with no to minimal aches or pain, and then I’ll have a day or two where I just feel like plopping myself down on the floor and having me a good old crying jag. Like today.
Since my schedule has been a bit insane, I’ve been working out at home more. I’ve been able to get some really good weight and ab work in, but the cardio isn’t quite the same as I can do at the gym. The Wonder Mutt can give me a pretty good walk around our lake, but I like to shake things up with some bike work as well. I’ll go between the stationary and recumbent bikes, rotating between low and high resistant runs. Saturday, I jumped on the stationary and set it for a medium resistance program. Thirty minutes later, I had worked up a pretty good sweat and felt like I had accomplished a decent calorie burn. Then…
I spent the afternoon walking around at a local flea market. Twenty minutes in, my right knee was on fire and my right hip was screaming at me. WHAT. THE. YOU KNOW WHAT. Now, I’ve pretty much reserved Saturday as my only day to party like a rock star. (Girl’s gotta let loose every so often, right?) So after a cocktail and a glass of wine, and a begrudgingly taken dose of ibuprofen, the pain had miraculously disappeared. It’s not exactly my recommendation of a good pain killing method, but hey, it worked!
Fast forward to Sunday. I worked out at home again and decided to take Wonder Mutt for our usual jaunt around the hood. Before we even started, the left knee this time – because damn, why should the left one feel left out? – felt bruised, like someone had kicked the crap out of it. After a couple of Mutt miles, it felt no better. So now I sit here with an ice pack slowly freezing my skin, on the verge of tears, wondering if I am ever going to get my running mojo back again. Thankfully, these moments of moroseness haven’t happened often, but it IS like a black cloud I’ve stuffed in the back of my brain, that just keeps threatening to hit me with an unrelenting downpour. I have yet to actually say it, but here goes…WHAT IF I CAN’T RUN AGAIN?
I’m trying to make light of my fear with crazy Timon, but I really AM scared about all of this. As with many of us, running isn’t just a thing we do to keep in shape. My ortho asked me if running was a passion of mine. I almost laughed as I said, “No doc. It’s an OBSESSION.” So what do you do when faced with what may or may not be a life-changing condition?
It’s like a kick in the stomach every time I go to the gym and see people running, lunging, squatting, jumping, and basically doing everything I’ve been told not to for now. I’ve been really good about following doctor’s orders, doing what I’m supposed to and keeping away from what I’m not. I guess that’s why I’m so freaked out about why I’m still occasionally having so much pain. I have another three weeks or so before I go back to the doctor, and I’m slightly terrified as to what he’s going to tell me. Now I know this condition can be fixed somewhat with surgery, and at this point, as scary as surgery sounds, I don’t think I would completely object to it. After all, I still have a score to settle after last year’s disastrous Splash and Dash/Wine and Dine Half Marathon. And I so do NOT want to be dealing with knee pain at the first annual gathering of Team Can-Am, – aka Kellie, Nicole, Lisa, and Rae. There is just too much shenanigan-making to be done.
So this is my plea to cyberworld: if you’ve ever found yourself in a position like mine, please feel free to enlighten me as to how you managed to get through it – if you did – and how you managed to not completely lose your mind in the process. If you did. If mind-loss is just a mandatory part of it, then at least I’ll know, right?
Enjoy the ride.
Have you suffered an injury or condition that prevented you from running for any considerable length of time? Were you able to get back to it? How long did it take? Any advice to keep from going completely out my mind?