What Do YOU Consider Sexy?

I’m thinking this is National Week of Epiphanies.

In a vain attempt to catch up with 18 pages of blogs, I came across this one yesterday from Tina at A Marathon and A Sprint.  By the time I was done reading it, I felt like Jennifer Garner needed to run for President. (Make sure you go and check out the video Tina posted.  I’m too techno-challenged to figure out how to do it myself.)  As all good literary pieces should do, it stuck with me.  And as I was trucking my dupa home yesterday mid run – thank you very much Mr. Thunder and Lightning Storm – it made me wonder.  Why do we have such differing opinions on what constitutes physical beauty?

Audrey Hepburn

The hubs and I couldn’t be further apart on this subject.  He likes curves and “thickness”.  I always argue the point that if he ever called a woman thick, more likely than not it would result in a smack upside his head.  Some guys become total idiots in the mere presence of Victoria Secret model-like beauty, whereas the hubs thinks they’re all too skinny and doesn’t find them attractive at all.  Yet who’s fighting me for the catalog when it shows up in the mail or wants to watch the annual VS Fashion Show?  (They really ARE their own worst enemies.)  And do you really think certain NFL quarterbacks would have EVER landed their supermodel wives if they were just average, off the street Joe Schmoes?  Doubt it.

Yeaaahhhhh. Don't think so.

Yeaaahhhhh. Don’t think so.

Show this picture to any average guy and watch what happens.  And men wonder why women are so super self-conscious about their looks?!?

I have a friend that I’ve known since first grade.  This friend HATED going to gym class.  Now, she has numerous races, fitness, and body building competitions on her resume,  She now owns a gym and busts her butt to keep in shape.  This past weekend, she competed in a body building competition.  Just that fact that she’s 45 and looks the way she does is amazing to me.  She ended up not placing and posted on Facebook that she needed to get back to work and get bigger.  BIGGER.  She’s a GIRL.  Since when does the “ideal” look of a fit woman include entering freaky big status?   I’ve been around/worked in the fitness industry off and on for years.  I’ve seen what the demands of body building can do to a body, and it’s not always pretty.  The push to be bigger/stronger/more defined can sometimes end up with deadly results.  At the ripe old age of 20, a fellow gym member’s heart literally imploded while he was driving and he ended up crashing his car into a tree.  The drive to be bigger and stronger led him to mess with his diet.  And he was DIABETIC.  Was the vanity factor worth it?  I think I know what his parents, friends, and girlfriend would have said.

cemetary

What men and women consider attractive/sexy/beautiful is as varied as we are.  Skinny, curvy, thick, heavy, athletic, lean-muscled, big-muscled – there’s no lack of opinions as to what constitutes hot.  As humans, and very visual creatures, it’s hard to deny how much “good-looking” plays into our daily lives.  We’re constantly bombarded with pictures of thin, tall, leggy supermodels.  We see how men react when they see them.  And then they wonder why we’re constantly dieting, hitting the gym, running, counting calories, and always pushing to find that elusive size 0.  It’s no wonder when all we see and hear is “be thinner”, “look better”, “you TOO can be mistaken for a model!  Just take this pill! Only $39.95!”

I live in the land of high school girls getting plastic surgery so they can win the coveted prom queen title.  However, as we do spend more of our time wearing shorts and tank tops than the rest of the country, we also work hard at staying fit and eating right.  I can happily say that over the past 19 years I’ve lived here,  I’ve seen the attitudes change among many young women, and they are starting to take on a more active life.  For the most part, it’s no longer about who’s the thinnest, but who’s the fastest and the strongest.  Girls around here are looking less likes twigs and more like healthy, athletic women.  So perhaps attitudes are changing for the better.  Finally.

We kick dupa!

We kick dupa!

So the next time you find yourself having a bad body day, and feel like you’re never going to get any where, stop and take a moment.  Watch Jennifer Garner brag about her baby bump.  Look at the race PR you earned.  Check out the amazing types of people who show up at a runDisney event who cover every type of physical build and ability you can imagine.  Be thankful that your body can DO what you ask it to do, no matter what it looks like doing it.  Because I guarantee, there’s someone watching who thinks you look just like this.

You ARE hot.  You.  Yes YOU.

You ARE hot. You. Yes YOU!

 Enjoy the ride.

We’re all victims of bad body days.  How do you get past them?  Are you able to see how hot you really are?  What do you consider “attractive?”

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17 thoughts on “What Do YOU Consider Sexy?

  1. Honestly, my view of my body image has changed somewhat. Don’t get me wrong, I still need/want to lost some area in my mid section, but since starting CrossFit, I LOVE my legs. Yes I get into fits with you that they’re bigger than yours, but I’m PROUD that they’re bigger than yours! I love the fact that all my shorts have become booty shorts and my pants are tight around my thighs. Yes they’re long and big but they are also STRONG! They are what carries me through a race! They are what allows me to deadlift, front squat, back squat more than most. I used to feel self conscious showing off my legs and now I love to wear shorts and show them off!

    Wow that comment totally turned into a me-fest! Sorry! But the topic of body image is actually one I should probably avoid. Point is, with my giant body I can squash you and I kinda like that 🙂

  2. I absolutely love this post. As someone who has dealt with a family member with Anorexia for years, it is refreshing to talk about healthy bodies that are not super skinny that are sexy. Personally, I have a ridiculous metabolism, so my size has not changed (except for a pregnancy) since high school. It is certainly alarming to hear that high school girls are getting plastic surgery. When will the need to be physically beautiful with aid ever stop. Plastic surgery is not the answer.

  3. Wow. I don’t know if I can even begin to comment on this without getting equally fired up/emotional/happy/sad, etc. My body issues and my thoughts on hot or not are vast, varied and incongruent with each other in a lot of ways.

    I feel so proud of the body I have…how far I have come and what I’ve been able to do…but at the same time, I get so frustrated that it doesn’t meet the goals/ideas that I want for it (be them good/bad/whatever). Hell, I can’t even figure out what words to describe my body…am I thick? Curvy? Athletic? Averyage? They all have these unspoken but widely known undertones of what they mean…and neither of which, I feel truly describe me.

    I also struggle with feeling attractive, that I am/can be found sexy by the opposite sex. Growing up and being overweight messed that up for me big time, am working on it now, but I still feel like, since I don’t meet that size zero, ab-tastic, cellulite free standard, that it is impossible for something to find me attractive. Yes, I know you will think I am nuts…but it’s how I feel…but again, working to fix it.

    So yeah, that’s my diatribe. lol. Getting past it for me means therapy with friends and a good run!

    ~Lisa

    • I remember getting absolutely IRATE when you blogged about the idiotic comment some lame-brained-limp-you-know-what made about your awesome finish line Mickey pic! Obviously he was one of those more concerned about a certain image than bothering to actually getting to KNOW someone. One thing is for sure, when the hubby saw your makeover face, he busted out with a wow! I was so happy to tell him that was my new Canadian sistah whom I shall be ingesting large amounts of “chocolate milk” with next November! 🙂 And certainly, ALL the Accountabilibuddies are BEAUTIFUL, no matter how big our thighs may be, lol! 🙂

  4. Uggghh body image and standards of beauty. I could write a post about this every day for a year and still not say everything I have to say on the subject. These days, I’m definitely going for the adjective “athletic” versus “skinny,” but even that can be hard to attain. Most of the time, I feel relatively ok with myself, but sometimes get sneak attacks of “Crap, these pants make my ass look huge,” or “I should REALLY start counting calories, I look like I’m pregnant.” But on the whole, I try to focus on the fact that my body type doesn’t define my self worth, and like you said, no matter how I feel about my body, there are probably people out there (men AND women) who think I look BANGIN’, and the same could be said for every other person on the planet.

    • Well said! We are our own worse critics and I know the hubs gets sick of hearing my make the usual ass/thigh/ab complaints all the time. I just wish someone would feel free to share the “comfortable in my own skin” recipe! But we are human, that is how we’re made, and we just have to learn how to not get so caught up in the surface, that we lose out on the beauty that almost everyone has on the inside. And FWIW, you look BANGIN’ in that wedding dress! ❤

  5. Different body types attract different people. Sometimes, when people say they dont feel attractive, what they are really saying is that they are not attracting the people they want to attract. But that’s not to say that people have body issues by themselves. I hate looking at pictures of myself. Hate it. But I have come to learn that different people do In fact like different types. Skinny, thick, overweight, robust… they all have fans. Its just that most times we are forced to look at a certain ideal (which has changed over time) and we are not supposed to stray from that. Well, screw that.

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