Where Is Your Head At?

Like most responsible bloggers – not that I claim to be one of them, mind you – I try to have a list of topics I’d like to cover at least two weeks out.  I found it’s easier than letting my dollar machine brain spin out of control and sadly, end up with squat.  More often than not though, as I start writing in earnest about the day’s chosen subject, the tornadic activity kicks into overdrive and the inevitable brain vomit follows, resulting in a side trip to whatthehellisshetalkingaboutand how thehelldidshegetthere-itis.  Bear with me.  There actually IS a point I’m trying to make.

brain vomit

As I laid on the torture massage table this afternoon, staring at the ceiling and cursing under my breath, (not so much), my synapses started firing at full force as I wondered how, after two FREAKIN’ years, I was STILL dealing with IT issues.  Why, just when I thought I finally had this cursed pain in my ass knees licked, it showed up yet ONCE AGAIN.  And here I am, in the chiro’s office ONCE AGAIN.  Getting my muscles, tendons, ligaments, and whatever the heck else is in there, stretched, mushed, and beaten into submission. ONCE AGAIN.  Are you sensing a pattern here?

I don't WANNA have to foam roll any more!

I don’t WANNA have to foam roll any more!

Seeing as the only way I can keep from hurling my shoes at my massage therapist’s head is to breathe deeply, I was happy to find that it also helped quiet the noise in my head that kept screaming, “IS ALL OF THIS WORTH IT? DON’T YOU WANT TO JUST THROW IN THE TOWEL, PERMANENTLY ATTACH YOUR BUTT TO THE COUCH, AND EAT CUPCAKES?  ALL DAMN DAY???” Yeah, that’s really what my head says to me.  Doesn’t everyone’s?

Eat all the cupcakes.  ALL OF THEM.

Eat all the cupcakes. ALL OF THEM.

Thankfully – once I got over the whole cupcake fantasy thing – I was able to calm down and put things back in my favorite place.  Yeppers!  Black Dog is back on the PERSPECTIVE train!

tracks

Soooouuuuullllll Train…….

I COULD actually permanently affix my dupa to the couch and eat cupcakes all day while watching a Criminal Minds marathon, but that would only result in larger sized sweatpants, frosting mushed into the couch, and uncontrolled drooling over Shemar Moore’s abs.  While that in itself wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, it wouldn’t exactly help the original problem of getting these miles run with a tolerable amount of pain.  And that track always leads me back to the same place.  A little land I call TRUST THE PROCESSville. Land. WHATEVER.

As runners, we all end up there at some point.  A pain or ache that simply refuses to go away and makes our running life a living hell.  We stretch, foam roll, grunt, groan, and occasionally scream our way through every possible mode of therapy we can think of.  We wonder if it’s all worth it.  And then we see this.

soldier finish line

 And this.

Eric-CrossingAnd this.

Boston Survivor

And suddenly, all our aches and pains, pulled muscles, sore feet, lost nails, and yes, even our ITBS, suddenly doesn’t seem to matter so much.  Our complaining becomes tempered, our tears dry up quicker, and we look at things just a little bit differently.  We’re thankful we have our eyes to see, our lungs to breathe, and our legs to run.  That long, slow run we’ve been dreading all week doesn’t seem quite so scary come Saturday morning.  And instead of quietly sneaking out before dawn to get our miles in before work, we take a moment and kiss our significant other on the forehead, even if it wakes them up.  Because we realize that life is a precious gift.  And one that should never be taken for granted.

So if you’re battling a chronic injury like me, and feel like giving up, DON’T.  You WILL beat back the demons that seem to thwart your attempts at victory.  You WILL be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of what you see.  And you WILL emerge victorious on the other side.  And all the anger, tears, and pain will have been worth it.  So go ahead and wrap your head around THAT.

 Enjoy the ride.

Ever get so down in the dumps about an injury that you thought your running days were over?  Were you able to overcome it?  Who or what inspires you or helps you keep things in perspective?

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18 thoughts on “Where Is Your Head At?

  1. It’s funny, I kind of just posted something that’s almost saying the opposite, but not really…but kinda…but not really. There is such a thin line between knowing when to push through the pain and knowing when to take a break.

    But more importantly, why was there no meme of Shamar Moore’s abs?!?! *happythoughts*

  2. Thankfully I’ve never really dealt with injury other than some mild foot pain back in the spring. That being said, I think I’m starting to get a little burned out. I’ve got a post in my drafts that I’m still waiting to post…

    Anywho, glad you’ve found your perspective again. Your accountabilibuddies believe in you!

    • Thanks ladies!!! And sometimes all you need to get over the burnout is to take a break. You’re not going to lose your level of fitness overnight. Just find something else that will help break up the monotony, but still keeps you moving. You just may find when you do get back on the pavement, it’s like a brand new Christmas present! 🙂

  3. That nasty place where you start to doubt everything you are doing.
    I was there for 3 months, most of the summer.
    Motivation is hard to find sometimes, I had to go to the shrink. Then I wrote on fridge “I can do this SHIT” and here I am, doing that shit.
    Really nice to read this post, great to read you are getting those nasty thoughts out of your head. You can always eat the cupcakes after a race or long runs.

  4. Last fall I had a few injuries that lasted through the spring. It was depressing but not debilitating, in that I was still able to train, just not as fast as I wanted to (essentially I was speed walking). Did I love it? No. Did I get through it? YES I DID! Stay strong, friend.

  5. I’m kinda Oscar the Grouch living in a dump right now, but I can say with absolute certainty that I see these people at races and my first thought is, “If that were me I’d be like, ‘hey, got up to get a cupcake, go team!'” and call it a day. Also, let’s be realistic you can’t have a Criminal Minds marathon once the sun goes down. You just can’t.

    True story: I finished the WDW half marathon behind a 1 legged woman.

  6. Thank you, this really does help to put things into perspective. I may have had a terrible run this past weekend, but now that I think about it, not only am I able to run, but I am able to do so without a chronic injury or any other sort of challenges. I should consider myself lucky that I have the opportunity to run the New York City Marathon, rather than whine that I had a bad run!

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