The Guide To Running. For The Non-Runner.

As told by….. me!

Guide

Let’s just put it out there.  Runners talk funny, eat funny, act funny, and occasionally even look funny.  We admit it.  Freely.  Those of you who haven’t as yet embraced the aches, pains, and sporadic gastrointestinal distresses (?), allow me to impart to you a little secret.  We’re all nuts.

crazy bunny

Okay, well, that pretty much covers it.

What’s that?  You want to know more?  Are you sure?  All right, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Language: We spew out terms like intervals, tempo, LSD’s, tech, pronate, PR, PF, ITBS, and my particular favorite – fartlek – like it’s a well-studied foreign language.  To the non-running outsider it may sound like some kind of alienspeak.  Have no fear my non-mileage-challenged friends.  We don’t really know what we’re talking about either.  It just sounds like we do.

Eating: The simplest of tasks can take on a whole new meaning, especially the closer you get to race day.  Every little gram of carbs, fat, and protein is counted and hoarded like me and cartons of Moose Tracks.  Strange sounding items suddenly start appearing in your pantry and fridge.  Items with names like Shot Bloks, Honey Stingers, Sport Beans and Gu.  Gu???  Don’t worry though, if you accidentally throw some Gu in with your spaghetti sauce, it’ll just make it a little thicker.  And sweeter.  And nasty.  Yeah, just go ahead and make a new batch.  You have permission to throw it at your runner’s head.  It’ll make for great interval training.

sprinters-legs-300x200

Quirks: Let’s be honest, we’ve all got’em.  I have a thing about keeping the closet and pantry doors closed.  The hubby has to make a sticky note for  everything.  Absolutely EVERYTHING.  Even the dog drags her blanket off her bed before she’ll lay on it.  Runners are no exception.  Just watch when we’re getting ready on race morning.  GPS?  Check.  Shoes double knotted?  Check.  Lucky socks?  Yup.  Underwear that you PR’d in at your last race that you may or may not have washed since?  I’ll leave that one up to you.

stinky pants

I could go on at length at our need to discuss every injury, brand of shoe, latest playlist update, or the best race for food and fan support, but I’m sure you have much better things to do and I don’t have that much patience.  Suffice it to say, if you live with a runner, we’re a moody, quirky, somewhat number obsessed bunch.  We’ve created our own language, caused an entire industry of tech clothing to be created, and bring new meaning to the term “portable food”.  We openly discuss gastric problems with complete strangers, whom we don’t see as strangers, simply because we’ve been talking with them online for months, sometimes even years.  We know their birthday, their spouse’s birthday, their kid’s birthday, and even their dog’s favorite napping spot.  We know all about Aunt Martha’s arthritis, the neighbor’s latest domestic, and how the in-laws are visiting next weekend.  AGAIN.  We offer advice, encouragement,  a kick in the dupa when it’s needed and a pat on the back when it’s not.  And always, ALWAYS, a shoulder to cry on.  That’s just how we roll.

run friends

Enjoy the ride.

Is your significant other completely mystified by the world of running?

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10 thoughts on “The Guide To Running. For The Non-Runner.

  1. 🙂 this post is awesome! Love it! It’s so true, my boyfriend is not a runner. He doesn’t get it at all. Haha

  2. My hubby totally didn’t understand anything I did or said until he started “training” for his half marathon. Then he started to get it…kinda. lol

    Btw, this is too funny because I was JUST talking to someone this weekend and I started to talk about my PR race and then my dad interrupted me to translate what a “PR” was to said person. I’m so obliviously I completely forget not everyone knows the lingo!

  3. Hahaha, this is great. ALL TRUE. Fortunately, I found someone who is just as running-obsessed as I am. I love being part of this community of “quirky” people…like you said, there’s nothing quite like the support and encouragement you’ll find in the running community! 🙂

  4. I’m definitely lucky that while he hasn’t exactly become crazy runner himself my husband has totally embraced all the craziness and even encourages it sometimes : )

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