As told by….. me!
Let’s just put it out there. Runners talk funny, eat funny, act funny, and occasionally even look funny. We admit it. Freely. Those of you who haven’t as yet embraced the aches, pains, and sporadic gastrointestinal distresses (?), allow me to impart to you a little secret. We’re all nuts.
Okay, well, that pretty much covers it.
What’s that? You want to know more? Are you sure? All right, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Language: We spew out terms like intervals, tempo, LSD’s, tech, pronate, PR, PF, ITBS, and my particular favorite – fartlek – like it’s a well-studied foreign language. To the non-running outsider it may sound like some kind of alienspeak. Have no fear my non-mileage-challenged friends. We don’t really know what we’re talking about either. It just sounds like we do.
Eating: The simplest of tasks can take on a whole new meaning, especially the closer you get to race day. Every little gram of carbs, fat, and protein is counted and hoarded like me and cartons of Moose Tracks. Strange sounding items suddenly start appearing in your pantry and fridge. Items with names like Shot Bloks, Honey Stingers, Sport Beans and Gu. Gu??? Don’t worry though, if you accidentally throw some Gu in with your spaghetti sauce, it’ll just make it a little thicker. And sweeter. And nasty. Yeah, just go ahead and make a new batch. You have permission to throw it at your runner’s head. It’ll make for great interval training.
Quirks: Let’s be honest, we’ve all got’em. I have a thing about keeping the closet and pantry doors closed. The hubby has to make a sticky note for everything. Absolutely EVERYTHING. Even the dog drags her blanket off her bed before she’ll lay on it. Runners are no exception. Just watch when we’re getting ready on race morning. GPS? Check. Shoes double knotted? Check. Lucky socks? Yup. Underwear that you PR’d in at your last race that you may or may not have washed since? I’ll leave that one up to you.
I could go on at length at our need to discuss every injury, brand of shoe, latest playlist update, or the best race for food and fan support, but I’m sure you have much better things to do and I don’t have that much patience. Suffice it to say, if you live with a runner, we’re a moody, quirky, somewhat number obsessed bunch. We’ve created our own language, caused an entire industry of tech clothing to be created, and bring new meaning to the term “portable food”. We openly discuss gastric problems with complete strangers, whom we don’t see as strangers, simply because we’ve been talking with them online for months, sometimes even years. We know their birthday, their spouse’s birthday, their kid’s birthday, and even their dog’s favorite napping spot. We know all about Aunt Martha’s arthritis, the neighbor’s latest domestic, and how the in-laws are visiting next weekend. AGAIN. We offer advice, encouragement, a kick in the dupa when it’s needed and a pat on the back when it’s not. And always, ALWAYS, a shoulder to cry on. That’s just how we roll.
Enjoy the ride.
Is your significant other completely mystified by the world of running?