What Do YOU Consider Sexy?

I’m thinking this is National Week of Epiphanies.

In a vain attempt to catch up with 18 pages of blogs, I came across this one yesterday from Tina at A Marathon and A Sprint.  By the time I was done reading it, I felt like Jennifer Garner needed to run for President. (Make sure you go and check out the video Tina posted.  I’m too techno-challenged to figure out how to do it myself.)  As all good literary pieces should do, it stuck with me.  And as I was trucking my dupa home yesterday mid run – thank you very much Mr. Thunder and Lightning Storm – it made me wonder.  Why do we have such differing opinions on what constitutes physical beauty?

Audrey Hepburn

The hubs and I couldn’t be further apart on this subject.  He likes curves and “thickness”.  I always argue the point that if he ever called a woman thick, more likely than not it would result in a smack upside his head.  Some guys become total idiots in the mere presence of Victoria Secret model-like beauty, whereas the hubs thinks they’re all too skinny and doesn’t find them attractive at all.  Yet who’s fighting me for the catalog when it shows up in the mail or wants to watch the annual VS Fashion Show?  (They really ARE their own worst enemies.)  And do you really think certain NFL quarterbacks would have EVER landed their supermodel wives if they were just average, off the street Joe Schmoes?  Doubt it.

Yeaaahhhhh. Don't think so.

Yeaaahhhhh. Don’t think so.

Show this picture to any average guy and watch what happens.  And men wonder why women are so super self-conscious about their looks?!?

I have a friend that I’ve known since first grade.  This friend HATED going to gym class.  Now, she has numerous races, fitness, and body building competitions on her resume,  She now owns a gym and busts her butt to keep in shape.  This past weekend, she competed in a body building competition.  Just that fact that she’s 45 and looks the way she does is amazing to me.  She ended up not placing and posted on Facebook that she needed to get back to work and get bigger.  BIGGER.  She’s a GIRL.  Since when does the “ideal” look of a fit woman include entering freaky big status?   I’ve been around/worked in the fitness industry off and on for years.  I’ve seen what the demands of body building can do to a body, and it’s not always pretty.  The push to be bigger/stronger/more defined can sometimes end up with deadly results.  At the ripe old age of 20, a fellow gym member’s heart literally imploded while he was driving and he ended up crashing his car into a tree.  The drive to be bigger and stronger led him to mess with his diet.  And he was DIABETIC.  Was the vanity factor worth it?  I think I know what his parents, friends, and girlfriend would have said.

cemetary

What men and women consider attractive/sexy/beautiful is as varied as we are.  Skinny, curvy, thick, heavy, athletic, lean-muscled, big-muscled – there’s no lack of opinions as to what constitutes hot.  As humans, and very visual creatures, it’s hard to deny how much “good-looking” plays into our daily lives.  We’re constantly bombarded with pictures of thin, tall, leggy supermodels.  We see how men react when they see them.  And then they wonder why we’re constantly dieting, hitting the gym, running, counting calories, and always pushing to find that elusive size 0.  It’s no wonder when all we see and hear is “be thinner”, “look better”, “you TOO can be mistaken for a model!  Just take this pill! Only $39.95!”

I live in the land of high school girls getting plastic surgery so they can win the coveted prom queen title.  However, as we do spend more of our time wearing shorts and tank tops than the rest of the country, we also work hard at staying fit and eating right.  I can happily say that over the past 19 years I’ve lived here,  I’ve seen the attitudes change among many young women, and they are starting to take on a more active life.  For the most part, it’s no longer about who’s the thinnest, but who’s the fastest and the strongest.  Girls around here are looking less likes twigs and more like healthy, athletic women.  So perhaps attitudes are changing for the better.  Finally.

We kick dupa!

We kick dupa!

So the next time you find yourself having a bad body day, and feel like you’re never going to get any where, stop and take a moment.  Watch Jennifer Garner brag about her baby bump.  Look at the race PR you earned.  Check out the amazing types of people who show up at a runDisney event who cover every type of physical build and ability you can imagine.  Be thankful that your body can DO what you ask it to do, no matter what it looks like doing it.  Because I guarantee, there’s someone watching who thinks you look just like this.

You ARE hot.  You.  Yes YOU.

You ARE hot. You. Yes YOU!

 Enjoy the ride.

We’re all victims of bad body days.  How do you get past them?  Are you able to see how hot you really are?  What do you consider “attractive?”

Don’t You Wish Life Had A Rewind Button?

So in an effort to be proactive about finding out exactly what keeps causing this…

Oh.  It's YOU again...

Oh. It’s YOU again…

I decided to take myself off to the experts.  Seeing as I conveniently live within a reasonable distance of a major league football team, I figured why not avail myself of THEIR medical miracle workers?  BUT, of course, one must go to one’s own doctor first, because heaven forbid one just take oneself off to said experts without permission.  This lovely jump through the hoops excursion landed me in the exam room yesterday of a doctor I had never met.  An hour past my appointment time. After sharing the lobby with some germ-emanating woman who actually sneezed in her hand then used that same hand to write her name down on the sign in sheet.  E-GADS.

Say it isn't so!

Say it isn’t so!

Here’s where my aggravation factor multiplied exponentially.   I simply want to jump through the appropriate insurance company hoops to get a referral to see The MAN about my ITBS.  Next thing you know, I’m laid out on the table for an EKG (normal), and given forms to go get my blood supply sucked dry.  (Actually, more like just getting my iron level checked, but it sounds so much more dramatic when there’s a vampire connotation involved, doesn’t it?) Then, as if I wasn’t already aggravated enough, I have to explain to THEM (as in the office staff – you know the ones who deal with the insurance hoops EVERY DAY), what THEY need to do with the insurance company so I can go see The MAN.  Me.  The PATIENT.  Am I the only one seeing the horrible dark comedy of errors in this whole situation???

Be afwaid Black Dog. Be vewy, vewy afwaid.

Be afwaid Black Dog. Be vewy, vewy afwaid.

So instead of actually having a productive day, I will be spending it on the phone arguing with my, playing intermediary between my doctor’s office and insurance company, all in an effort, to – here’s a novel idea – TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

So let me take this moment to apologize dear readers, for the momentary lapse in sanity and rant against all things medical.  Hopefully though, the light at the end of the tunnel will be that I DO actually end up getting to see The MAN, who will then proceed to tell me in the first five minutes of my visit that he knows exactly what is wrong with these blasted IT bands, and can fix them in 20 minutes or less.  Or even 30.  I’ll take 30.  Maybe there will even be some hot, retired football player waiting in the lobby when I get there.  Nothing wrong with a little bit of eye candy to brighten up the wait.

How you doin'?

How you doin’?

Enjoy the ride.

Do the hoops you have to jump through for insurance companies make you absolutely insane?  Have you ever just wanted to scream unintelligible curses at your doctor? Have you actually done it?  Did it get you anywhere?

A Reality Smack Up Side The Head and A Game Changer

Hey! Hey you! Make sure you check out the weekly linkup at http://www.rungeekrundisney.com/2014/10/disney-parks-moms-panel-round-2-mickey.html!  Sometimes it’s great to be a geek!

So by now you guys know I’ve been in the middle of a major pissing contest with these buttheads.

Bad! Bad knees!

Bad! Bad knees!

Actually, it’s more a little to the outside of the noses, but you get the idea.  This battle has been off and on for the past two years and brought my shot at a Disney PR back in January to a screeching halt.  Literally. Screeching, screaming, crying….you get where I’m going here?  Anywho, I thought I finally had a handle on it until last week when it got ugly again HERE.

WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

However, after a couple of weeks of therapy – for the knees, not the head, which I’m actually starting to think really are connected – after switching up HOW I run – thank you Mr. Galloway and my new-found somewhat longer attention span – things are starting to look up.

Could it be? A giant can of TUNA FISH?!?

Could it be? YES!! A giant can of TUNA FISH?!?

As I was chugging my way CAREFULLY through an 8 miler this weekend, I suddenly got hit by lightning.  Not literally. More like a little hit.  Maybe more like a tap.  Can one get tapped by lightning?  (Sorry, Dug-Squirrel moment there).  In a brief moment of runner clarity, and after the accompanying smack upside the cranium, I made a sudden runner-life-altering decision.  In a flash, gone was the single-minded goal of a Disney PR at the Wine and Dine in three weeks.  In its place, in all it’s luminous glory, was THE NEW DECISION.  I’m no longer going for a Disney PR.  Instead, I am – wait for it – going to run it —— FOR FUN!!!!!  CAN YOU FREAKIN’ BELIEVE IT????!!!!! Neither can I!!!!!

And the best part – I decided to go the FUN route because I am finally getting the chance to run it WITH SOMEBODY.  Somebody, who runs like ME! (That would be the non-speedy type, BTW.)  Actually, TWO SOMEBODYS!! (Well, one non-speedy like me and one speedy.  But she loves cupcakes as much as I do, so she’s in).  After all the excitement when runDisney released the corral assignments last week, and finding that Accountabilibuddy Kellie was only one corral behind me, it was an easy decision to jump in with her.  And THEN, Nicole jumped in too!!!  Oh happy, happy runner moment!!!!

happy-dance

So the self-imposed runner pressure is off.  I’m still going to run the best Half that I can, but the priorities are now this:

1.  Have FUN. FUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUN.  FUN.

2.  See exactly how many times we can sing the entire version of Let It Go from the start to the finish line.  And yes, Vegas is setting odds.

3.  Stop, drop, and #NardiChallenge with the Green Army Guy.

4.  Thank the Phoenicians as we fly by the Geosphere.  If you have to ask, I don’t know you.  And you should be ashamed of yourself.

5.  Did I mention? HAVE FUN!!!!! (And shooting for this look with my sister Accountabilibuddies far and wide at the after party. Plus cupcakes.)

Ladies? It's PARTY TIME.

Ladies? It’s PARTY TIME.

So with my new-found Wine and Dine outlook and attitude, I’m no longer going to freak if I’m not hitting the times I was previously shooting for in training.  I am a true believer in everything happening for a reason.  And I truly believe I was meant to slow down, (even if it DID mean by getting re-injured), tripping across the hilarious, where-the-hell-was-I-looking-for-humorous-outlooks-on-life before I fell into the blogs of Kellie, Nicole, Lisa/LindseyRae, and Jenn/Moon, and finding an alternative to painkillers and constant cursing in an effort to beat back the pain monster, (repeat after me, “lasers are your friend!”).

Sometimes the planets align just right, your dog kisses you with non-stinky breath, and your hubs brings you a cup of Moose Tracks just when you need it most.  And this is one of those moments.  Except the ice cream is vanilla and Calypso’s breath stinks like the fish she just ate.  It’s okay….I’ll take it.

Enjoy the ride.

What’s the last “aha” moment you had? Was it during a run?  Did you run into a tree or a swarm of  bees when it happened?  Did you even notice?