Knobby Knee, I CAN Live Without You

Yes, I have actually named these joints that are slowly but surely driving me insane.

Who needs you anyway?!?

Friggin’ GD things….

It’s starting to feel like I cannot catch a break.  I’ll go days with no to minimal aches or pain, and then I’ll have a day or two where I just feel like plopping myself down on the floor and having me a good old crying jag.  Like today.

Just. Make. It Stop.

Just. Make. It Stop. PLEASE.

Since my schedule has been a bit insane, I’ve been working out at home more.  I’ve been able to get some really good weight and ab work in, but the cardio isn’t quite the same as I can do at the gym.  The Wonder Mutt can give me a pretty good walk around our lake, but I like to shake things up with some bike work as well.  I’ll go between the stationary and recumbent bikes, rotating between low and high resistant runs.  Saturday, I jumped on the stationary and set it for a medium resistance program.  Thirty minutes later, I had worked up a pretty good sweat and felt like I had accomplished a decent calorie burn.  Then…

dun-dun-duuuun

I spent the afternoon walking around at a local flea market.  Twenty minutes in, my right knee was on fire and my right hip was screaming at me.  WHAT. THE. YOU KNOW WHAT.  Now, I’ve pretty much reserved Saturday as my only day to party like a rock star. (Girl’s gotta let loose every so often, right?)  So after a cocktail and a glass of wine, and a begrudgingly taken dose of ibuprofen, the pain had miraculously disappeared.  It’s not exactly my recommendation of a good pain killing method, but hey, it worked!

Good for high cholesterol too!

Good for high cholesterol too!

Fast forward to Sunday.  I worked out at home again and decided to take Wonder Mutt for our usual jaunt around the hood.  Before we even started, the left knee this time – because damn, why should the left one feel left out? – felt bruised, like someone had kicked the crap out of it.  After a couple of Mutt miles, it felt no better.  So now I sit here with an ice pack slowly freezing my skin, on the verge of tears, wondering if I am ever going to get my running mojo back again.  Thankfully, these moments of moroseness haven’t happened often, but it IS like a black cloud I’ve stuffed in the back of my brain, that just keeps threatening to hit me with an unrelenting downpour.  I have yet to actually say it, but here goes…WHAT IF I CAN’T RUN AGAIN?

scared timon

I’m trying to make light of my fear with crazy Timon, but I really AM scared about all of this.  As with many of us, running isn’t just a thing we do to keep in shape.  My ortho asked me if running was a passion of mine.  I almost laughed as I said, “No doc.  It’s an OBSESSION.”  So what do you do when faced with what may or may not be a life-changing condition?

questioning-Person

What do I do???

It’s like a kick in the stomach every time I go to the gym and see people running, lunging, squatting, jumping, and basically doing everything I’ve been told not to for now.  I’ve been really good about following doctor’s orders, doing what I’m supposed to and keeping away from what I’m not.  I guess that’s why I’m so freaked out about why I’m still occasionally having so much pain.  I have another three weeks or so before I go back to the doctor, and I’m slightly terrified as to what he’s going to tell me.  Now I know this condition can be fixed somewhat with surgery, and at this point, as scary as surgery sounds, I don’t think I would completely object to it.  After all, I still have a score to settle after last year’s disastrous Splash and Dash/Wine and Dine Half Marathon.  And I so do NOT want to be dealing with knee pain at the first annual gathering of Team Can-Am, – aka Kellie, Nicole, Lisa, and Rae.  There is just too much shenanigan-making to be done.

shenanigans

So this is my plea to cyberworld:  if you’ve ever found yourself in a position like mine, please feel free to enlighten me as to how you managed to get through it – if you did – and how you managed to not completely lose your mind in the process.  If you did.  If mind-loss is just a mandatory part of it, then at least I’ll know, right?

Girlfriend ain't got no time fo this!

Go away Knobby.  Just GO AWAY.

 

Enjoy the ride.

Have you suffered an injury or condition that prevented you from running for any considerable length of time?  Were you able to get back to it?  How long did it take?  Any advice to keep from going completely out my mind?

Random Randomness

I just realized it has been a really long time since I treated all of you to the random tornadic-game-show-dollar-machine-whirlwind that is my brain.

Remember me?

Remember me?

I now you’re all just chomping at the bit to see what’s been flying around in there.  Far be it for me to deprive you of such idiotic interesting musings.  Let me just throw a disclaimer in here that I cannot be held responsible for the following drivel.  It just falls out of my brain all on its own.  No assistance needed.

brain vomit

1.  Sometimes I just want to do this to my previous home state in the middle of a polar vortex.  Just because I can.

Nah nah nah nah nah nah.  Nah.

Nah nah nah nah nah nah. Nah.

2.  I REALLY hate those itty bitty bugs that love to fly right in your face.

Stupid bugs.

Stupid bugs.

3.  The hubby likes to beep the horn whenever we drive by cows on our way to Disney.  He says they’re lonely and like the interaction.

Captain! I just don't know!

Captain! I just don’t know!

4.  We live on a lake that is the winter residence to flocks of coots.  They like to all float together in a big bunch in the middle of the lake at night.  It’s creepy.  Like a bad Hitchcock spoof movie kind of creepy.

Hey Harry!  Check out that hottie over there to your right!  The one with the really sexy beak!

Hey Harry! Check out that hottie over there to your right! The one with the really sexy beak!

5.  Wonder Mutt leads a charmed life.

Leave me alone.  I'm meditating.

Leave me alone. I’m meditating.

6.  I’m SICK of having knees.

Who needs you anyway?!?

Who needs you anyway?!?

7.  What do you think is going on in that head?

(insert Scooby Doo huh? here)

(insert Scooby Doo huh? here)

8.  Who was the idiot who said if a bird poops on you, you’ll have good luck?  I’m thinking you’ll just have a dirty shirt.

Ew.  Just.  Yeah.  Ew.

Ew. Just. Yeah. Ew.

So there you have it.  The top issues that are occupying my brain these days.  Aren’t you just absolutely thrilled I had the foresight to share them with you?  I feel so much less brain cluttered now.  Thanks.

 

Enjoy the ride.

Ever just feel the need to just pull the brain drain plug and let all the miscellaneous crap just come pouring out?  Feel better when you do?  What’s your opinion on the whole bird poop issue?

Nostalgia Has It’s Place

In case you didn’t notice if you were stalking me on IG and FB this weekend, I returned to the Place of All Things Happy.  All THINGS Happy.  Not all CHILDREN happy.  Oh yes, Disney World was definitely a place of all out baby stress this weekend.

screaming baby

I wanna Mickey muffin and I want it NOWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Thankfully though, we were able to escape said baby madness and keep things on a more adult level.  Well, except for a momentary kiddie lapse into Christopher Robin’s bedroom.  But honestly, who can say no to a hunny-luving bear and his bouncy sidekick?

Okay, who's got the hunny pot?

Okay, who’s got the hunny pot?

Once I returned home, unpacked, and played with the Wonder Mutt, I had some lingering house stuff to do that I’d been putting off.  This included going through a box of crap the hubby had filled with random, well, crap.  We’d recently cleared out our spare room and he had thrown a bunch of loose items into a box for me to go through.  I figured I better just get it over with and dug in.  Would you find it strange the majority of said crap in the box was a bunch of race bibs?  I have a habit of writing down the race location, date and my time/pace on the back of each bib.  What’s this?  A 5k with a 9:08 min/mile?  Say WHAT?!?

Whoooooaaaaa.....

Whoooooaaaaa…..

I even stumbled across the pics I ordered from last year’s WDW Half Marathon.  You know.  The one that made me stop running for the next four months, just to have a great training period and end up in a major crash and burn for the Great Disney Splash and Dash of 2014?  Yeah, that one.

Yep.  That was me.  Pretty much.

Yep. That was me. Pretty much.

As I weeded through all these race bibs, pictures of not-so-glorious race days gone by, ticket stubs to various vacation adventures, and the ever humorous photos of big, bad, hair days of the 80’s, I started feeling that oh-so-familiar rock in the pit of my stomach.  Images popped into my brain of a thinner, faster, fewer lines on the face girl who didn’t know what it was like to feel knee pain, couldn’t spell chondromalacia patella to save her life, or thought ITBS was a new grunge band from Seattle.  To say I started feeling a bit sad for those days gone by would be putting it mildly.  And – as always – the hubs knew exactly what was getting to me.  And – as always – he knew exactly what stupid thing to say to make me laugh, and let me know this injury is just a bump in the road.  But damn, these bumps get friggin’ aggravating, don’t they?

Ugh.

Ugh.

If there is one thing I can take away from my little moment of welling in self-pity, it’s this.  It’s okay to look back and wish for that thinner, faster, big-haired girl who’s biggest worry was getting her dupa out of bed by noon on the weekends.  But it doesn’t do anybody any good to wish for those days back.  Everything happens for a reason, and it’s not always up to us to know what that reason is.  We just have to live in the moment like the Wonder Mutt – whose only concern is whether or not Mom is going to drop a piece of that wonderful smelling food on the floor.  Because, well, DAMN.  Just look at how absolutely ADORABLE I AM.

I know, I know.  No need to say it.  TOTALLY adorbs.

I know, I know. No need to say it. TOTALLY adorbs.

Live in the moment Calypso?  Yeah, I got it.

Enjoy the ride.

Do you have one of those photos/race bibs/medals that always seem to hit you where it counts when you least expect it?  What was it from?  Were you proud of that moment or did it turn you into an even better runner/person/athlete?  Do you wish you had your dog’s life?

The Cooler Side of the Pillow

And just like that, another beautiful light goes out.

stuart-scott-cancer-twitter

Unless you pay absolutely no attention to the sports world, then you know what a great loss the world has suffered.  Stuart Scott was as engaging as your best friend, funny as any professional comedian, and as down to earth as the guy next door.  A devoted father, consummate professional, and creator of some of the best sports quotes known to man, Scott was the picture of determination and inspiration to those who knew of his fight against cancer.

Feeling like I was raised on all things sports and ESPN thanks to an older brother, my love of sports continued – and still continues – thanks in no small part to my ESPN-addicted husband.  Nary a day goes by that doesn’t start with Mike and Mike, or end with PTI and SportsCenter on a TV somewhere in the humble Black Dog abode.  Saturdays are meant for NCAA football and Sundays are devoted to the NFL.  Baseball, basketball, it doesn’t matter, we watch it all.  But the best, the best, are the back stories.  Whether it was about a football player down and out on his luck who made it to the big show, or an athlete who came back from the brink of death to prove to the world she was the best,  Scott brought us those stories in his own unique way.  But the best back story, was his own.

StuartScott1

Along with thousands of others, we welcomed Scott into our home, welcomed his knowledge and insights into all things in the sporting world.  He exuded confidence and objectivity, but above all, he inspired us – to fight, to be strong, to be a better person.  And that will be his legacy.

Scott and Daughter

He fought the good fight, and in doing so – in his own special, unique way – he beat cancer.  The disease may have eaten away at his body, but it never touched his soul.  He wouldn’t let it.

During the third quarter of the AFC Wild Card Game on Sunday, Jim Nance summed it up in six small words, “What a man.  What a loss.”  I don’t think anyone could have put it better.  No one, except perhaps, Scott himself.

SS quote

 

Boo-Yah, my friend.  Boo-Yah.

 

Enjoy the ride.

New Year’s Resolutions? Who Me?

Yeah…..not so much.

2015-logo

How many of you get sucked into the annual whirling vortex of all things New Year’s promises, just to find yourself back on the couch stuffing your yap with leftover Christmas cookies and Moose Tracks? You?  You?  You too?  You there, the one with the hideous Christmas sweater?  No, the one next to you.  Yup.  I feel ya.  Why do we insist on this annual rite of passage just to find ourselves back at square one a few months later?

fat cat

It’s just a little holiday weight.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for starting over and hopefully getting things right.  Unlike retail stores who make their profits starting on Black Friday, I think fitness centers absolutely LOVE January as their sales go up exponentially.  And each month after that, the numbers slowly but surely start to decrease, but the money has already been deposited.  Kudos to strategically timed membership sales.

I’m no different.  From November until now, my visits to gymworld have been, well, less than stellar – noticeable in both my pants and the scale.  Hello Black Dog Blob, how you doin’?

blob-cartoon

Every year I tell myself I will resolve to NOT make any resolutions, and I usually do a pretty good job at sticking at it. HA! Who am I kidding?  I may not necessarily SAY I’m making any resolutions, but you can damn well bet your dupa I still do, at least in my own game-show-dollar-machine-whirling brain.  Resolutions that usually include me swearing I’m going to end the year looking something like this.

Oh Abby, how do you do it?

Hey, a girl can dream, can’t she?

Inevitably though, reality eventually sets in, (somewhere around the 4th gallon of Moose Tracks), the F5 tornado of my brain calms down, and I get back into normal operating mode: eat as healthy as I can, (Moose Tracks and cheese aside of course), chase the elusive sleep elf most nights, hit up the gym, (but only to the point where I don’t feel the need to choke the ever-living crap out of someone), and pray that the running gods look favorably on my knees.  And swear that THIS will be the year I bust out of Introvertland and PR in SOMETHING.  Even if it is in new-found patience.

patience-3

I invite you to come along with me on my journey to Challenge and Acceptance Land.  It should be a roller coaster ride of epic proportions, with momentary pit stops for occasional food and wine indulgences, backed up with chocolate and margarita side trips.  Sound good to you?  Well then, let’s not waste another moment of valuable time.  Please secure all personal items below your seat.  Make sure your mutt’s seat belt is securely fastened, and hang on the hell on.  Because I’m sure the ride is going to get very bumpy at times.  But the adrenaline rush will make it OH SO WORTH IT.

Whooooohooooooo!!!!

Whooooohooooooo!!!!

 

Enjoy the ride.

Do you fall into the New Year’s resolution pit every year?  Ever stick with them?  Is wine or ice cream an integral part of them?

And Just Like That…

Hard to believe it’s already been almost a year since this disaster…

20140111_091931

I can barely walk but I’ll give you a cheesy smile anyway!

Let me start off by saying I had no intention whatsoever of running the Donald Half during Marathon Weekend.  None. Nuttin’. Nada.  But when a running buddy – who I think has never had a bad run in her life – says “hey, there’s a bunch of us running over marathon weekend, come join us”, who am I to say no?  An idiot, that’s who.  Still on a high from a great-for-me Wine and Dine Half, the thought of doing a second runDisney event looked oh-so-appealing.  Um, yeah.  Not so much.  6 miles in, IT bands on the fritz, and an emotional breakdown along whatever freakin’ road I was on, and I was done.

Cooked bird. Complete with timer. Yup, that's me.

Stick a fork in me, I’m done. Complete with timer. Yup, that’s me.

Pissed off, in pain, and ready to knock the teeth out of my knees, does not a good Black Dog combination make on race day.  So. Moving on, I took four months off, jumped out of my skin until this proud moment…

She's baaaaccccckkkkk!!!!

She’s baaaaccccckkkkk!!!!

…and had what I thought was, for the most part, a pretty darn good training cycle for the Wine and Dine Half.  And then…dunh dunh duuuunnnnnhhhhh, (insert dramatic music here)…..

Dammit!

Dammit! Not AGAIN!?!

And if wasn’t for these two nuts…

We roooccckkkk!!!

KELLIE AND NICOLE.  BEST. ROAD CREW. EVER.

…and this one big nut…

Nauseating, aren't we?

Nauseating, aren’t we?

I doubt very much I would have made it across the finish line.

Now here I am, this time on a doctor-imposed running hiatus, and ready to crawl out of my skin. AGAIN.  The question of the hour being where do I go from here?  Try not to think about what The Man might have to say in a couple of months?  Make myself all crazy every time I go to the gym and see everyone else doing everything I want to be doing but it’s against doc’s orders?  Bury my new-found misery in a giant bowl of Moose Tracks?

Yes, please, I'll have another.

Okay, maybe THAT wouldn’t be so bad.

And just like that, we’re at the end of another year.  One that seems to me – at least runningwise – to have had more downs than ups.  At least though, on the personal front, there were plenty more smiles and laughter than there were tears.  New race experiences, new partners in crime, new locations visited, a few new wines tasted – okay a LOT of new wines tasted – and new plans to look forward to in 2015.

2015

And just like that…..

happy-dog

Cheesy Grin. The Sequel.

 

 

Enjoy the ride.

How quickly did 2014 pass for you?  What were the highlights, or lowlights, of your year?

Blog World Tour? Who Knew??!!

Who knows Colby and Tina from It’s A Marathon And A Sprint??  Raise your hands.  Higher.  Higher.  You?  In the back.  You know these two?

They look pretty guilty, don't they?

They look pretty guilty, don’t they?

I’m pretty sure these two are sistahs from another mutha.  Red Sox fans?  Check.  Love UCONN?  Check?  Filters used only selectively?  Absolutely.  See?  Sistahs.

And as sisters do in any good game of tag, Colby tagged me as the next stop on the Blog World Tour, (sounds impressive, doesn’t it?).  It sounded a bit serious for my severely limited literary abilities, but Colby assured me it was anything but.  After all, did I REALLY think she would be doing anything that required a certain acceptable level of seriousness?  Besides shenanigans?  Really now Black Dog, what the hell were you thinking?!

Say whaaaat?

Say whaaaat?

So without any further adieu – seriously, what the hell does that mean anyway? Adieu to you too – let’s get on with this bus ride.  And let me just apologize now for my answers.  Some of this is just way beyond my ability of taking things seriously.  But let’s be honest.  That’s really why you love me, isn’t it.  Yeah, I know.  It’s okay.  I’m pretty irresistible.

rest1

The Blog World Tour consists of answering the following – which I know you’re all just dying to know:

  • Acknowledging the blogger/blog that invited you to the Blog Tour:

Tina, Colby, consider yourselves acknowledged.  Makes you feel all tingly inside, doesn’t it?

It's disturbing what comes up when you Googly tingly.  Really.

It’s disturbing what comes up when you Google tingly. Really.

Answer the following questions in your post:

  • What am I working on?

Controlling myself from choking the ever-living crap out of the people I work with on a pretty much daily basis, elevating my patience levels to new heights as I sit on my dupa, sucking down gallons of Moose Tracks, waiting for my kneecaps to decide they want to get back in the sandbox and play nice with the rest of my body, and finding new, interesting, comical subjects to keep my loyal fans from wondering why the hell they ever hit that damn follow button in the first place.  Oh, and seeing how long I can actually balance on one foot while brushing my teeth.

For real!  Not.

For realz? Not.

  • How does my work differ from others of its type/genre?

Work?  Is that what this is supposed to be?  Crap, didn’t get THAT memo.  I just thought this was a very convenient way to prevent this unfortunate situation…

Crazy-Brain

E-GADS

  • Why do I write what I do?

I can claim total ignorance on this one.  Most of the time.  I have absolutely no control over said literary matter.  It just falls out.  All on its own.  Really.  It’s pretty scary actually.

brain vomit

  • How does my wiring process work?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!  Sorry. Be serious Black Dog, for once in your pathetic life.  Wait a minute.  Colby!  Are you trying to pull shenanigans on THE MASTER?!?!?  Isn’t this supposed to say how does my WRITING process work?!?!  Whatever the question is, I can answer it the same way.  There isn’t one.  I just follow the brain vomit and see where it leads me.  It may end up as a total pile of dog poop, or it may end up being the greatest piece of blogiterature EVER created. (Like that one, don’tcha?)

Just make it stop.

Just make it stop.

Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?

So now it’s my turn to send the tour bus on to the next stop.  And lucky you, you get to be entertained next by none other than the….drum roll please……ACCOUNTABILIBUDDIES!!!   Honestly ladies, did you really think I’d pass up the chance to harass you yet AGAIN????  It’s my sole reason for being.  Besides Moose Tracks.  And dark chocolate.  And wine.  And the Mutt.

Huh2

So let’s see it, Kellie, Nicole, Lisa, Rae.  What ya got?  Because…TAG!   You’re it!

Enjoy the ride.