Friday Funny

FF baby fartlek1

Shocking. I know.

 

Enjoy the ride.

In honor of Wine and Dine being only 8 DAYS OUT – yes bloggeriffic peeps – 8 DAYS!! - I decided today’s Friday Funny should pay homage to all the sweat, miles, tears, aches, pains, and mountains of Motrin we’ve all undertaken (and ingested) for the past few months.  So until next Friday when we meet for Expo time – run on, run strong, and for God’s sake, DON’T FORGET TO PACK THE ASPIRIN!!!

Here We Go. Again.

So today’s the day.  I THINK.  As I write this, I STILL don’t know if my visit to The MAN has been approved by my insurance company.  Because GOD FORBID I go see The MAN without their approval.  Apparently, that could end the universe as we know it with earthquaking, dream-shattering, lifeasweknowitwillcometoacrashinghaltwithfireandscreamingcatsanddogsrainingdownfromtheheavens kind of consequences.  You know?

Oh the HORROR!

Oh the HORROR!

Even though my insurance company was called a WEEK ago about this, they still haven’t given it the official thumbs up.  Note I said a WEEK AGO.  No wonder my blood pressure is gaining momentum in an upwardly direction.  As it’s a bit of a PITA to get the time off from work to actually go and see The MAN – because why would any doctor EVER think to have office hours after 3pm? – I had to make some alternate scheduling changes in order to do what I have to get done at work and still be able to go The MAN.  And once again, Big Brother insurance company is taking their sweet time deciding whether or not they will allow it.  Of course, I would still go anyway, and pay for it myself, but really now.  Why should I?  Isn’t that what I pay THEM for every month?

Aspirin?  Not without a referral!

Aspirin? Not without a referral!

Okay.  Now that I have THAT out of my system, (stay tuned right here to BDRD for what may turn out to be one hell of an update!), let’s move on shall we?

The hubs, who is kind enough to be accompanying me on my little trip into OrthoLand, threw this one out at me last night. “Are you prepared if the doctor says NOT to run your race next weekend?”  This of course, was followed by my very best Scooby-Doo imitation.

Huuuuh???

Huuuuh???

What???  NOT run the Wine and Dine???  Why would he EVER say THAT?!?  I just ran 10 miles on Sunday!  Am I sore?  Of COURSE I am…it was 10 MILES!  But I got through it – relatively pain-free, (at least for me) – and I’m ready to make this Wine and Dine my bee-yatch!  Especially in the company of Kellie and Nicole, who I know will be looking out for my every running need.  You know, like singing the harmonies to Let it Go, seeing who we can make pee their pants first from laughing too hard, and utilizing the ever-popular Cupcake On A Fishing Pole trick to pick up the pace just a wee bit.  Because we ALL need BRF’s like THAT!

This is what came up when I Googled fishing pole cupcakes. For realz.

This is what came up when I Googled fishing pole cupcakes. For realz. Get on it Princess Lisa!

I guess maybe KNOW the thought of not running never entered my mind.  And NOT running the W&D just AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN.  Even if we end up keeping the Balloon Ladies company for the entire trip, that’d be A-Okey-Dokey by me.  It just means we’d be wicked late to the party, but I honestly don’t think it will come down to that.  Even if Nicole’s NYC Marathon-spent legs can barely move, I think we’ll still finish in PLENTY of time to enjoy the festivities.  Let’s be honest shall we?  Who actually runs this race for any reason OTHER than the after-party???

Nope. No fun. Clearly.

Nope. No fun. Clearly.

So we shall see what The MAN has to say later today.  I don’t THINK he’s going to say not to run next weekend, but even if he does, you can pretty much bank on me completely ignoring THAT particular little bit of medical advice.  Now, AFTER next weekend may be a different story.  I just have to keep in mind – as will The MAN – that I have another half coming up, but not until February.  So what he thinks I should do between November 9th and February 15th, will more than likely be a whole different story.  I just may actually listen to him.  After all – he is The MAN.  And if The MAN can get professional multi-million dollar athletes back to making their multi millions of dollars, than I’m pretty confident he can get little ol’ Black Dog back on the road again.  Only difference is, I have to actually pay TO run.  Hmmmmm, I may have to rethink this whole race entry fee thing.  Seriously, when’s the last time these guys paid to race?

Gotta love sponsors!

Gotta love sponsors!

Enjoy the ride.

Ever had to choice between your health and paying for it yourself?  Does that not drive you COMPLETELY insane?  If Disney race entry fees weren’t so crazy, would you enter more of them?

So Proud To Be A Runner. And Proud Of You!

Nothing makes me more happy and proud than when I read about my fellow Disney runners accomplishments.  Like JENN, who just ran her VERY FIRST MARATHON this weekend!  The MARINE CORPS MARATHON!  Yeah, THAT Marine Corps Marathon!!

Jenn

Celebratory cupcakes for all!!

And STEPH, who cranked out – or maybe more appropriately “gimped” out – her second marathon in the past two weeks.  Yes, that’s right, TWO WEEKS!  At the MARINE CORPS MARATHON!

Steph

Are you getting the whole runner/cupcake thing yet??

And then there’s my sister Accountabilibuddy KELLIE, who not only finished a 5k/Half Marathon Challenge, but ran another three miles AFTER finishing to get her Goofy training miles in.  ROCKSTAR!

I'm bad and I know it!!

I OWN this race!!

Over the past couple of years, I’ve lost track of the number of smiles that have crossed my face, and the happy tears I’ve cried, as I’ve watched/read/tracked runners from all over the world complete an unbelievable accomplishment.  From Meb’s amazing victory in Boston and reclaiming both the city – and the race – back from the cowardly acts of a couple of misguided idiots, to a girl on crutches crossing the finishing line at Sunday’s MCM, it all hits me right in the heart.  I know it’s something many people don’t understand, especially those who don’t run.  But for those of us who do, and know first hand about the aches, pains, mental games we play with ourselves just to get through the miles, the good luck charms we carry with us, or even maybe just a prayer that is whispered before a race start, it all makes total sense.  It may not be about a victory, and age group award, or even a little trophy.  It’s about more than that.  SO much more than that.

bigger pic

It’s about the ability to push our body to its limit.  It’s about friendships, old and new.  It’s about that indescribable feeling you get when you hit that pace you’ve been shooting for for weeks/months/YEARS even.  It’s about finally fitting into those skinny jeans that were hiding in the back of the closet.  It’s about looking at yourself in the mirror and being proud of the person looking back at you.  Mostly – I think anyway – it’s about the feeling of accomplishment.

accomplishment

Whether it was taking that first step out the door, throwing that bag of potato chips in the trash, or finishing your first triathlon, there’s not a damn thing wrong in being proud of yourself.  Go ahead, brag a little.  Or a lot!  Whatever it is that you accomplished, be proud of it!  Because I can guarantee you, there’s someone else out there who’s proud of you too.  And if you can’t think of anyone, I’ll be proud for you. Because that’s what runners do.  That is WHO WE ARE.

Whoo hoo!!

Nice job!

 

Enjoy the ride.

What’s the one thing you’ve ever done that made you proud?  Do you ever get weepy when you see what happens at a finish line?  What’s the most memorable athletic moment you’ve ever been a part of or seen?

What Do You Do When You Don’t Play Well With Others?

A question I ask myself often.

This is me.

child-play2

Well, not me EXACTLY, but you get the idea.  It’s not that I don’t play well with others, it’s just that I don’t…well…DO well with others.  I just don’t GET people.  Remember this?  Innate shyness and socially challenged is definitely part of my genetic makeup.  From where, I’m not really sure, as the rest of my siblings are pretty good at the whole blahblahblah thing.  I bring this up now for a couple of reasons.

I’m currently following the adventures of Stephanie as she gets ready to take on Part Two of her #marathonpalooza madness.  As she globe-trots from Orlando to Chicago to Orlando to Quantico to Orlando to NYC, back to Orlando for the Wine and Dine, and finally closing out the year with the Space Coast Marathon, I wonder first, how the HELL is she going to survive the insanity, and second, how would I handle going all those places and NOT KNOWING NARY A SOUL.  I can tell you.

Now where's my blankie?

Now where’s my blankie?

The second reason this popped out of my game show dollar machine brain is this: my torture master massage therapist Janet was telling me about this running group she ran into (pun intended) purely by accident a few weeks ago.  Hash House Harriers, an international running group, seems to have made its way to my area.  “Drinkers with a running problem” is their tagline, (how could you not love that?), and a group I could possible relate to.  Except for one little bitty problem.  GROUP.  E-GADS, how I hate that word.

scared Jerry

Aaaagggghhhhh!!!!

Now let there be no mistake.  I’ll talk to just about anyone after a little liquid courage is involved, but that’s not always conducive at the starting line.  Or the finish line if you think about it.  As much as I try, I just don’t have that innate ability to strike up a conversation with another living, breathing human being.  Now put a pooch in my path, and I’ll yak to them all day long.  But put good ol’ homo sapiens in my path, and I put on my best clam imitation.

Who me?  Noooo, you couldn't be talking to ME?

Who me? Noooo, you couldn’t be talking to me!

I really don’t know what the point is that I’m trying to make, except to say, how the heck do you DO it?  How does one strike up a conversation with a perfect stranger and not have them look at you like you’re a complete idiot?  Okay, idiot factor aside here, I constantly wonder at people’s ability to do just that.  I have heard the most hilarious conversations started in of all places, the mile long lines for those god-awful porta-potties at the start of the Wine and Dine every year.  But if you think about it, what better place to hit it off with complete strangers than standing in line, trying not pee your drawers, and actually TALKING about it??  Some places just incite the no shame rule.

Yes, you actually can Google Portapotties at Disney races and get boatloads of pictures.  Disturbing to say the least.

Yes, you actually can Google Portapotties at Disney races and get boatloads of pictures. Disturbing to say the least.

So I guess the best advice I can give myself – and you – is next time we find ourselves flying solo at a race, just hang out in the bathroom lines.  Guess you’ll never know who you may run into.  Hey, Kara and Shalane have to go at some point, don’t they???

karaandshalane

Hi ladies!

 

Enjoy the ride.

Ever find yourself  holding back from joining a group because you’re just too shy?  Did you do anything about it?  Were you glad you did or did you feel like a total schmuck the entire time?

Friday Funny

As we are two weeks out from Wine and Dine, I thought it only appropriate to provide all of you with a little bit of motivation for your runs this weekend.

FF Red dot cat1

Enjoy the ride.

Who else has their last long run planned for this weekend?  Get out there and catch that dot!

What Do YOU Consider Sexy?

I’m thinking this is National Week of Epiphanies.

In a vain attempt to catch up with 18 pages of blogs, I came across this one yesterday from Tina at A Marathon and A Sprint.  By the time I was done reading it, I felt like Jennifer Garner needed to run for President. (Make sure you go and check out the video Tina posted.  I’m too techno-challenged to figure out how to do it myself.)  As all good literary pieces should do, it stuck with me.  And as I was trucking my dupa home yesterday mid run – thank you very much Mr. Thunder and Lightning Storm – it made me wonder.  Why do we have such differing opinions on what constitutes physical beauty?

Audrey Hepburn

The hubs and I couldn’t be further apart on this subject.  He likes curves and “thickness”.  I always argue the point that if he ever called a woman thick, more likely than not it would result in a smack upside his head.  Some guys become total idiots in the mere presence of Victoria Secret model-like beauty, whereas the hubs thinks they’re all too skinny and doesn’t find them attractive at all.  Yet who’s fighting me for the catalog when it shows up in the mail or wants to watch the annual VS Fashion Show?  (They really ARE their own worst enemies.)  And do you really think certain NFL quarterbacks would have EVER landed their supermodel wives if they were just average, off the street Joe Schmoes?  Doubt it.

Yeaaahhhhh. Don't think so.

Yeaaahhhhh. Don’t think so.

Show this picture to any average guy and watch what happens.  And men wonder why women are so super self-conscious about their looks?!?

I have a friend that I’ve known since first grade.  This friend HATED going to gym class.  Now, she has numerous races, fitness, and body building competitions on her resume,  She now owns a gym and busts her butt to keep in shape.  This past weekend, she competed in a body building competition.  Just that fact that she’s 45 and looks the way she does is amazing to me.  She ended up not placing and posted on Facebook that she needed to get back to work and get bigger.  BIGGER.  She’s a GIRL.  Since when does the “ideal” look of a fit woman include entering freaky big status?   I’ve been around/worked in the fitness industry off and on for years.  I’ve seen what the demands of body building can do to a body, and it’s not always pretty.  The push to be bigger/stronger/more defined can sometimes end up with deadly results.  At the ripe old age of 20, a fellow gym member’s heart literally imploded while he was driving and he ended up crashing his car into a tree.  The drive to be bigger and stronger led him to mess with his diet.  And he was DIABETIC.  Was the vanity factor worth it?  I think I know what his parents, friends, and girlfriend would have said.

cemetary

What men and women consider attractive/sexy/beautiful is as varied as we are.  Skinny, curvy, thick, heavy, athletic, lean-muscled, big-muscled – there’s no lack of opinions as to what constitutes hot.  As humans, and very visual creatures, it’s hard to deny how much “good-looking” plays into our daily lives.  We’re constantly bombarded with pictures of thin, tall, leggy supermodels.  We see how men react when they see them.  And then they wonder why we’re constantly dieting, hitting the gym, running, counting calories, and always pushing to find that elusive size 0.  It’s no wonder when all we see and hear is “be thinner”, “look better”, “you TOO can be mistaken for a model!  Just take this pill! Only $39.95!”

I live in the land of high school girls getting plastic surgery so they can win the coveted prom queen title.  However, as we do spend more of our time wearing shorts and tank tops than the rest of the country, we also work hard at staying fit and eating right.  I can happily say that over the past 19 years I’ve lived here,  I’ve seen the attitudes change among many young women, and they are starting to take on a more active life.  For the most part, it’s no longer about who’s the thinnest, but who’s the fastest and the strongest.  Girls around here are looking less likes twigs and more like healthy, athletic women.  So perhaps attitudes are changing for the better.  Finally.

We kick dupa!

We kick dupa!

So the next time you find yourself having a bad body day, and feel like you’re never going to get any where, stop and take a moment.  Watch Jennifer Garner brag about her baby bump.  Look at the race PR you earned.  Check out the amazing types of people who show up at a runDisney event who cover every type of physical build and ability you can imagine.  Be thankful that your body can DO what you ask it to do, no matter what it looks like doing it.  Because I guarantee, there’s someone watching who thinks you look just like this.

You ARE hot.  You.  Yes YOU.

You ARE hot. You. Yes YOU!

 Enjoy the ride.

We’re all victims of bad body days.  How do you get past them?  Are you able to see how hot you really are?  What do you consider “attractive?”