Ewww. Yeah, just Ewww.

What the heck are you talking about Black Dog? you may be asking yourself.  Well, lemme tell ya.

The hubs and I spend ENTIRELY too much time watching TV.  DVR’s and Netflix were created with for suckers like us.  I freely admit it.  That being said, we do have quite eclectic taste in our viewing choices.  So where the heck are you going with this, you may be asking.  Well, lemme tell ya.  Again.

Love this guy.

Love this guy.

I have no idea how we started watching this, but we’re hooked.  If for no other reason than to place bets on how many minutes into the show the inevitable Jon Taffer Meltdown occurs.  And when the show takes place practically in your own back yard, it makes things even more interesting.

As the name says, this guy comes into a bar that’s on the verge of closing its doors.  That’s when things get, well, eww.  Seriously, there’s no other way to say it.  Last night as I sat on the couch thoroughly enjoying some shrimp pasta salad, what do my exhausted eyes behold but Taffer, walking into a beach bar about 20 miles south of me.  A nasty, greasy, scummy, RAT-INFESTED beach bar.  (Suddenly the pasta salad wasn’t sitting so well).  And herein lies the Black Dog dilemma.  Thankfully, we’d never patronized this particular nasty-ass establishment.  But how many nasty-ass bars have we been to and DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT?!?!

vomiting-dog-vomit

Somebody please kill me. Now.

You don’t like to think of the nasties when you go out.  And shows like this – all TV drama aside – make you think twice when you do and maybe cause you to take a little more notice of your surroundings.  Which is probably a good thing.  Because no one wants to see any of these apocalyptic creatures from hell running across your foot.

OH. MY.GOD.

OH.MY.GOD.

As with most of the Bar Rescue bars, this one of course would up considerably less nasty-ass.  BUT – and this is a big but – knowing how bad the owners and staff let this place get once, would be enough to keep me from ever wanting to pay a visit, even with the cool chick pirate thing they had going.  Which I’m sure is just me being somewhat germaphobic, but, you know….EWW.  Not to mention the chicas and I have suddenly developed an aversion to anything having to do with pirates.  Right Lisa?

Hehehe...

Hehehe…

 

Enjoy the ride.

Ever walked – or ran – out of place because of apocalyptic creatures from hell making an appearance?  Did you refuse to go back, even if the place was cleaned up?  Has your mutt ever partied so hard you found them in the above pictured position?

You Don’t Have To Run To Be A Princess

But it sure comes in handy if you do.

Tiara

For the past couple of months, I had been scheming to make the trip north to cheer on my fellow #Chewsday Chicas – Kellie, Lisa, and Nicole – as they ran the final leg of the Glass Slipper Challenge aka the Princess Half Marathon, last weekend.  I’ve never gone to Disney as just a race spectator, and in all honesty, I really wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about it once I got there, seeing as how running is still off-limits for me.  But the prospect of seeing my Wine and Dine Support Crew again, and FINALLY getting to meet the Can portion of Team Can-Am, was enough to bring the excitement level up considerably.

After spending a couple of nights putting a LOT of effort into designing the perfect race signs for each of my chicas, and scouring the store aisles for the perfect post-race recovery snacks, I was ready to hit the road.  Confession:  I was in bed the night before the race by 8pm and spent the entirety of the evening constantly waking up due to the typical pre-race nightmare of sleeping through my alarm.  Ironically, even though I set the alarm for 0430 hours Sunday morning, it NEVER WENT OFF.  Thank goodness the hubby got up to go to the bathroom moments later and told me to get my dupa up, otherwise I would’ve ended up in total meltdown status.

"Whaddya mean I overslept?!?"

“Whaddya mean I overslept?!?”

Let’s just take a quick side trip here: we were staying with friends who live about a half hour from Disney.  The quickest way to get to Disney is through no-man’s land.  Literally.  I drove in on a highway with no lights, no civilization, and no other traffic.  I kept waiting for some freaky being from one of those creepy horror movies to jump out in front of me, sending my truck off the embankment, only to wake up in the evil clutches of some psychopathic nutcase like in the movie Saw.  I know.  I have a severely overactive brain at 5 o’clock in the morning when I don’t know where I’m going and the DAMN GPS CAN’T FIND THE DAMN SATELLITE.

Happily though – because of course, all things end happily where Disney is concerned – I FINALLY made it to the finish line, signs and snacks in hand, with plenty of time to spare. I was lucky enough to snag a pretty sweet spot about 200 yards before the finish line, and was able to watch as Tink – I mean Lauren – crossed the finish line at the 1:22 mark.  WOW.  (I had a picture, but she was so fast, she was nothing but a blur.  Not really, but it sounded good.  More like operator error.)

It wasn’t much later though when Princess Lisa kicked some serious dupa and crossed the finish line with a big smile on her face.  (Actually, she was trying not to puke, but it’s my blog and I can write what I want.)  Somehow, she did manage to find me in the sardine can of bodies I ended up in the middle of, and we were able to preserve the moment for posterity.  Lucky you.

Forgot my cool shades but remembered the tiara!

Forgot my cool shades but remembered the tiara!

One thing I have found is I may have a big yap, but my voice just does not carry.  I was screaming my head off for Lisa when I saw her run by, but there was no way she could hear me.  (Note to self: purchase a megaphone for future spectating opportunities.  Unless you have one I can borrow.  Thanks.)

Not long after, Princesses Kellie and Nicole crossed the finish line and really DID have smiles on their faces.  (However, I suspiciously think that was due more to the prospect of soon ingesting the gummy bears and pretzel crisps I had in my possession, than actually finishing the race.)

Whatever the reason, 90% of Team Can-Am was together, (again), with the exception of Rae, (well, we DID have flat Rae with us. See?)  And just look at those great race signs!

Princesses1

All in all, psychopathic drive through no-man’s land aside, spectating the Princess Half Marathon was a blast, especially knowing that my girls were out there on the course having a great time – minus the puke factor of course.  I would highly recommend that if you have someone special running any race – Disney or otherwise – get your dupa out there and cheer them on!  Even if they don’t see/hear you, you can still obtain hero status.  It’s all in the post race snack choices.  Who knew.

Hero worthy.

Hero material.  Seriously.

 

Enjoy the ride.

Have you ever played race spectator?  Did you provide inspirational signs and snacks?  Anyone puke on your shoes?  

Friday Funny

As the thermometer in my car hit 86 degrees at 5:30 yesterday afternoon, I realized what a smart decision it was – almost 20 years ago now, (yikes!) – to move to a more tropical kind of setting.  So in honor of my frozen friends to the north, my sympathies, and warmest hugs, go out to you.

FF Winter dogs

Enjoy the ride.

Hope your weekend doesn’t turn you into a popsicle!  And for Wonder Mutt’s sake, keep those transmissions from dragging too low!  Happy Friday faithful friends!

And The Results Are…..

….not in.

Yeah…..soooooo……remember when I said I was dreading what The Man was going to tell me when I went back to see him about my knees?  Well, I’m still not really sure exactly WHAT happened.

Huh?

Yeah, that was me.  Pigtails and all.

I think a lot of this is my own fault.  I’ve had right knee issues for SO long that I almost don’t remember what it’s like to NOT have pain.  After Wine and Dine, when pain suddenly showed up in the LEFT knee, I figured that was the one I better bring up first when I went in for my appointment.  Now, I DID make sure to tell The Man that both these freakin’ things have been a pain in my dupa – so to speak – but the left knee pain was a newer occurrence.

After doing exactly what he told me to do – and pretty much doing nothing that he said I shouldn’t, the left knee is feeling decent.  Not perfect, but decent.  The original pain in the ass right one though, well, let’s just say I am NOT a happy Black Dog.  Or Nemo either.

mad nemo

I am one pissed off clownfish.  No joke.

After a lot of blahblahblahblahblahblah, I just busted out with a I HAVE A HALF MARATHON IN NOVEMBER.  WHAT THE FRIG DO I HAVE TO DO TO BE READY FOR IT??!!  I knew I was in trouble when I was pretty much answered with the same look as Boo.  Then things got interesting when I heard I may be able to run 2-3 miles for the rest of my life.  ‘Scuse me?  What was that?  2-3 MILES???  ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR EVER-LOW-MILEAGE MIND?!?  I hate to point out the obvious Doc, but 2-3 miles ain’t 13.1.  Or 26.2.  DUH.  I think that was about the time I busted out the S word – no, the OTHER S word – and he knew I was no longer riding the Downtown Train on the Conservative Treatment Line.  Thanks Doc, but this girl is derailing this ride.  With glee.

Heeeeeere's anesthesia!

Heeeeeere’s anesthesia!

Not just yet though.  First, it’s a return trip to MRI Land to check for a meniscus tear – which, let’s face it, we’re 99.9% is NOT the case.  Simply because that would be too simple a fix.  And I never do ANYTHING simple.  EVER.  Then it’s see what the radiologist thinks, see what The Man thinks, and then possibly see what The Man’s partner thinks.  There was mention of possible microfracture surgery, but I’m pretty sure there’s another, much less scary sounding option out there.  Which I only mention as another runDisney fan-friend of mine had said alternate surgery done and was back to running after eight weeks.  And get this – he had THE SAME EXACT DIAGNOSIS AS ME.  Plus, why should my sister be the only chick in this family with bionic parts?

Whaaaatttttt?????

Whaaaatttttt?????

So, as the saying goes, we shall see.  MRI Part Two is tomorrow, and we should have the radiology report sometime next week.  Then, who knows.  Stay tuned.  This could get quite interesting.  Or ugly.  Or just plain downright hilarious when I really go off the ledge.  Jumping.  And screaming hysterically.  Wearing a cape.  Because I will just have to disagree with Miz Edna this time around.

Yes, Edna, yes.  Capes.

Yes, Edna, yes. Capes it shall be.

Enjoy the ride.

Have you had to make a decision about surgery that you weren’t 100% positive about?  How did it work out?  Any regrets?  Did you say anything embarrassing while you were knocked out?  What was it??  Tell me!!!  I won’t tell anyone, I swear!

 

Wonder Mutt Wednesday

Lots of catching up to do now that we’re back from Princess weekend – which was pretty damn awesome!  So until then, a little more Labrador hump day humor to get things rolling…

Hoarder dog

 

Enjoy the ride.

Do you have a canine hoarding problem in your dog house?  Has the hoarding led to the ingestion of rather fancy items of bling?  Who got the dubious honor of following the offender around the yard with rubber gloves?  Was it successful?

Friday Funny – The Princess Edition

As I get ready to hit the road and head on up to Disney World as an official Princess spectator, I thought it only appropriate to pay homage to all princesses – both of the Disney persuasion and otherwise – the best way I know how….with just a little bit of royal snarkiness.

FF Grumpy cat princess animals pics

 

Enjoy the ride.

Good luck to everyone running this weekend!  Be sure to say hi on your way past me Sunday morning.  I’ll be the one with a bottle of tequila in my paws, trying to stay warm.  JUST KIDDING DISNEY POLICE.  JUST KIDDING…..

Wonder Mutt Wednesday

In honor of the members of Team Can-Am, and all the other princesses, (and their princes), on their way to the most Magical Place on Earth for Princess Weekend…..

WMW are we there yet

ARE WE THERE YET???

 

Enjoy the ride.

IF I can get my dupa to the entrance of Epcot on Sunday morning, (please be with me road closure traffic gods) make sure you say hi!  I’ll be the one with the funny race signs.  hehehe…..